omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
