he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
