So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
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