Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
