tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Let's paint friendship bongs
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
