dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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