she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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