Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
