you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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