He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
