I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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