I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
