That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
