Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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