yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
