NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i drank out of a bidet.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
