how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
