i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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