I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
