If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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