There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
