guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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