She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
