Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
