We won't sleep together?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
