I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
