So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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