I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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