I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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