sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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