Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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