I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
why do cheetos always look like penises
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
