she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
