Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
