i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
