I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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