GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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