I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
