who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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