Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
