Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
