Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
