2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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