I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
