Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Green mimosas i think yes
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
