On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
