I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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