shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize