My first STD was from a foam party
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
