Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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