Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
