did you get engaged???
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
