my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
