Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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