ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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