Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
