very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
