I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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