remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
She's JV to your varsity
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
