she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
