I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
