its not stalking. its research.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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