hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
