her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
