Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
he quoted the bible to break up with me
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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