who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
are you so shy because you have an std?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
We smell like vodka and hangover
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