You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
