shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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