i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
