Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Randomize
